Expectations Are Not “Supposed” to Happen

Expectations are NOT “supposed” to happen. I was in the base gym the other day, having just come out of the showers and opening my locker to start getting dressed when I was overcome again by the sadness, the despair, and the darkness.  Despite all my efforts and beliefs, despite the goals of my generational … Continue reading Expectations Are Not “Supposed” to Happen

Now, THAT was Anticlimactic!

  Now, THAT was anticlimactic! Yesterday morning I had my retirement/separation physical. It consisted of me sitting in a doctor’s office while they reviewed my record, made a couple of referrals for small things, but otherwise signed me off as “safe to retire.” Compared to the intake physical I went through at Jacksonville’s Military Entrance … Continue reading Now, THAT was Anticlimactic!

The Darkest of the Night

Romantic stories often center around the iconic image, either literal or metaphorical (depending on the actual story in question), of the lover holding the hand of his/her love in the darkest moment of the night.  Comforting, protecting and assisting their loved one in the darkest of the night. Those stories really crack me up sometimes.  … Continue reading The Darkest of the Night

It Was NOT Suppose to End This Way

It was NOT suppose to end this way, but it did. What was supposed to be (for me, anyway) the final triumph, the final “hurrah” of my career before retirement instead became a very sobering reminder of the dangerous nature of the jobs we do. 2017 Fleet Week New York came to and end tonight; … Continue reading It Was NOT Suppose to End This Way

Start Spreading the News!

Start spreading the news!  We’re leaving tomorrow morning from the Navy Public Affairs Support Element East (NPASE East) for New York City. Starting Tuesday the Big Apple is hosting the 29th annual Fleet Week New York, a huge celebration of the sea services that will swamp New York City with enough ships to, well, make … Continue reading Start Spreading the News!

Poetry Night!

The future may feel dark and life overwhelming, but if you can write, if you can put word to paper, you are never alone!  Even a simple haiku can break your isolation. Unendurable Nathanael Miller, 30 April 2017  Unendurable. To forever sit alone; The night never ends. ***  The Future is Dark Nathanael Miller, 30 … Continue reading Poetry Night!

No Signposts

The unknown frightens; Planning used to rule my life. Now I’ve no signposts.  A haiku I wrote titled, appropriately, “No Signposts.” Every military member, regardless of branch of service, shares two unique experiences that civilians will never truly grasp: the moment of putting on the uniform and relinquishing much control over one’s life to a … Continue reading No Signposts

The Good Times: Beauty and the Beast

I make no apologies for writing about the dark things in life.  I believe sharing my struggles and my successes in coping will help increase awareness of mental health issues, at least a little. However, my life is not all dark.  As I race towards the conclusion of my naval career, I will rest my … Continue reading The Good Times: Beauty and the Beast

Inner Visions

Writing is good for me.  I have attempted suicide many, many years ago.  I have dealt with a serious fight with depression and anxiety for my entire adult life, and it was not always recognized for what it really was.  This left me to muddle along without proper treatment and support for a very long … Continue reading Inner Visions

What Was It All For?

Right out the gate let me tell you that I have been living with chronic depression and anxiety for, well, most of my life.  Despite the jovial, irreverent facade most people see during the day, the core emotional reality I experience nearly all day long, every day, is a dark melancholy, a Black Hole.  No … Continue reading What Was It All For?